California again. This time there are no forest fires to mar the horizons. And I am finding it has a strange beauty. The hills roll on forever and are back-dropped by far off mountains. Dry light brown grass covers the hills and little forests pop up randomly and litter the sides of the taller hills and smaller mountains. And the trees! There are so many different kinds of them. A few evergreens, some ones with all their leaves gone that look like gnarly African savanna trees, and other regular oaks and such that I don't really know their precise names but notice them from other parts of the US. I have been running close to sunset each day and boy those sunsets sure are gorgeous.
Oh ya, I suppose I am here for training - deployment training at that. So, not tons of fun. But it'll be a good thing, supporting people that need it and good for the career, all in all a good thing. The training is supposedly 6 days a week, which pretty much blows, but it better than 7 days a week... And they are nice enough to give us a 4 day break for Thanksgiving and even a 3 day weekend for Veteran's Day. Huh, this will be the last Veteran's Day that I am not myself a war veteran. Dun dun dunnn. Finally getting to do the J-O-B.

Today marks the two weeks of marathon training. It's going pretty well, and it feels really nice to have accomplished a goal again. Recently, with moving and training, I haven't kept up with much of what I set out to do. So, two weeks of sticking to a running schedule feels really good. Rest day tomorrow! And last day of MC-12 IQT, which hopefully means heading back home Tuesday morning - as long as the money people back home get themselves straightened out. We'll see. Monday morning means bugging them until they break and do their jobs!

3rd day of my MC-12 career and 2nd day of marathon training. Neither of which is intense, but both have their painful parts, like me not being able to stay awake or pay attention for very long, and painful legs. But they both have their upside...I feel better, more alive when I run. And...ummm, I met knew people...oh, academics for IQT is half way done... Ya, I never really thought the academic part of flying was very fun. We get to do charts and calculations tomorrow. Best part of learning! Except that no one else really enjoys or understands it in general, so it takes forever. But we have a bunch of techy majors, so maybe it'll go faster than usual.

Anyway, back to dinner and "studying".

First day of MC-12 initial qualification. Well, I haven't studied in a while. Or it felt that way after 8 hours of someone telling me what I should learn in the next 5 days. But here they don't seem to be as thorough as pilot training. So, it shouldn't be as intense. Also, I don't like hotels - well, particularly the Hilton, way too overpriced. I suppose they do give me $56/day for food. But I really don't think an overcooked soggy chicken pasta dish is worth 15 of those dollars, even if the government is paying for it. Another reason is that TV is lame. And TV sucks when you have to watch the shows at the time of their choosing instead of yours. AND, people are awkward unless you tip them. What happened to people doing their jobs for - oh, I don't know - their paychecks.

In other news, I got a Nook for my birthday. It is pretty cool. I am almost finished with my first book already, and I haven't even read the instructions. Free books are money. ;-)

Tomorrow is the first day of marathon training ... or pre-marathon training at least.

5 days. That's how many days before I leave for MC-12 IQT, and the beginning of what will become a very long separation. IQT is only two and a half weeks long, and then I will be home for somewhere between 10 days and 2 weeks. After that I leave for Beale and the separation starts in earnest. I am hoping Josh can come visit before I deploy, and especially for Thanksgiving or something close to it that we can both celebrate. After the couple months at Beale I will deploy and be gone for 7 months or more. And it is very unlikely that I will see Josh at all in those 7+ months, unless we happen to cross paths on a runway somewhere out there. Hey, there's always hoping.

Well, during our extended separation, we'd both like to get in better shape, and do something "together" - some sort of common goal that we can share when we are reunited. We have decided to train for a marathon. Hopefully, the Air Force Marathon in September 2012. By then we will both be back stateside and since it is Air Force supported, we should both be able to get leave to attend the race.

Next Monday, we are both starting a training program for it. And there you have it, one goal, two people, multiple states/countries, 26.2 miles, 51.5 weeks away.

11 September 2011. 10 years after the world stopped turning - for most of us in the US at least. Almost everyone remembers exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. For me, after initially hearing my grandma exclaim over the phone that the second plane had hit in NY, the rest of the day was somewhat of a blur. I remember the neighbor coming over and me and my family going to watch the events unfold with her, because no one wanted to be alone that day. I remember hanging on to every word that Pres. Bush said in his speech afterwards. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and anger. And now, ten years later, I still feel the rush of anger and indignation at the thought of such needless deaths. Of such violence toward unsuspecting civilians. I think of my upcoming deployment and wish that I didn't need to go invade the privacy of another country's citizens. But I know that unfortunately for them, and for the family I will leave behind for so long, I must. To prevent the terror that they harbor (willingly or not) from causing such pain to my country's people again. Because as I remember 10 years ago as a terrible tragedy that a few words cannot adequately describe and an act forcing the US to enter a war against terrorists that other countries have long been fighting, others remember this day with a pain that most will be lucky enough to never feel, and a fear that those same terrorists will want to commemorate their loss with even more loss. And that, that fear that Americans still have of a violent attack on their own soil, that is what makes my job most important. And I train for years on end and deploy for months on end to fight a battle not really my own, to banish that fear from my nation.

Sleep always seems elusive when I travel. You'd think being more sleepy from driving most of the day would help. The travel seems kind of endless right now as well. I suppose SERE had lots of random "travel" experiences. So, I am on my way to water survival down in Florida. It should be a fun time, as long as the hurricanes don't rain us out. After that I am on my way to finally sign into Little Rock which will be home for the next 3 to 4 years. And of course shortly after I get to the Rock I will be leaving for MC-12 training and then the deployment. I am excited to start flying again, and I am warming to the idea of deploying. Of course, deploying is never fun, but it'll be good for the career. And there will be lots of flying which will help the time pass quickly.
Now to get some sleep so I can finish the drive tomorrow.

The End of UPT

Well, here I am at the end of pilot training - a very significant event no doubt. I have my assignment, which will eventually place me back in the arms of the man I love. Though as most things in life, the journey will seem a long one.
The first part of my assignment is an MC-12 deployment. That entails a month of survival training, approximately 2 months of training to fly the plane, and a 6 to 9 month deployment to Iraq or Afghanistan. The plane/mission seems rather interesting and exciting itself. Though I must say that living in tents in the desert is not quite what I had in mind when I joined the air force. If I was really that much in to camping and roughing it I would have joined the army. But that seems to be the current way of doing things in the air force as well. So, off to the desert I will go, and hopefully I can be useful to the air force and I get some good experiences and combat time out of it.
That will of course have a huge down side of being away from Josh for almost a year - not looking forward to that in the least bit.
The 2nd part of my assignment is flying c-130s at Little Rock AFB. That part I am really looking forward to. Of course there is more training involved with that, 6 months of it. All of which is at Little Rock, which is awesome. Because then I will finally get to live with the man I married again.
For now I am just waiting for my training dates and orders and procrastinating. I actually have a decent amount to do before I leave, which could be on a week and a half or even a month. I should definitely get to work on all those things, but this week there has been little motivation. This weekend I will have to force myself to find some...after the baby shower that I forgot about. Haha, so maybe Sunday?

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Guess who is done with pilot training!

I successfully finished my last checkride and thus last flight in pilot training today! It has been a rough journey, but now the last of the painful parts of pilot training are over. All that is left is paperwork, assignment night, and graduation. I just had steak and zuccinni and squash. It was pretty good. I am also on my second glass of wine. Also, I think I want to make dessert, but I don't know what to make. Maybe Angel Food cake. I will have to look up a recipe to see if it is possible.

I don't know if this whole "done with pilot training" thing has fully set in. I will have to see tomorrow or next week. Ok, now back to Friday night.

Navigation check completed and passed! Woot! And today I finished my last simulator in pilot training. 14 flights left before drop and graduation.
Also, Josh gets back tomorrow!

Conversation going on inside my head:
You ok?
No.
Yes, you are.
I am freaking out.
No, you're not.
Well, I am a little.
But not so bad.
I am arguing with myself in my head. Yes, I am freaking out.

Tomorrow, I have my to-check. Meaning, the pair of end of block rides before my checkride. This checkride means a lot. It is weighted more than the others, and it is my chance to redeem for the bad checkride I had during transition. No big deal...

And on another note, I miss Josh. More than mushy love songs and cheesy poems could ever describe.

Wednesday. This week feels weird. It is getting really close to nav check, or at least sorta. I am not any flights closer, but I am two sims closer. Yesterday was a weather cancel for potential thunderstorms in the area. Which means my nav check got pushed back until the Monday after next instead of Thursday or Friday of next week. One extra weekend to study for it, which is good. I feel as if the time is barreling on without me myself getting any more ready. I suppose I am pretty nervous, sorta. But I definitely need to get my proverbial butt into gear.

Also, I ran twice this week and did push-ups each night. The only goal I am slacking on is getting to bed on time. It is really hard to fall asleep lately. Lonely, bored, mostly just missing Josh I guess and looking for something to distract my mind too late into the night. I am going to get up at 7 and go for a run with Shadow before going into work. We have a later show than usual in an effort to give us all some gym time - awesome for me. And now to stop doing the distract myself thing and get ready for bed.

Today was rather melancholy to begin with. I woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat and spent the morning being lazy trying to get over it, which actually worked. I even took a nap, which may have been spent better engaged, but no more sore throat.
I helped a friend get ready for his navigation checkride tomorrow. It was good to get out and interact with someone other than Shadow.
I have decided that I need to set some goals for myself with Josh away, and especially with him out in the woods with no contact this week. Most days I just look forward to seeing him, and if he's gone to talking to him every few days at least. But now while I have nothing better to do or give me an excuse to do, I should get myself back in shape and get to a rigorous schedule to get me through these next two weeks until my nav check.
This week my goal will be to run at least 4 times and once run the 1.5 mile course on the track to gauge how much I need to improve. Also to do push-ups every day. Paltry goals I am sure, however, the amount I have let myself go recently calls for small steps back to fitness.
As for my sleep and other type schedules. My goal for the week will be to be in bed by 10:30 every night. That should give me long enough sleep each day to not make being tired an excuse.
I am very glad I am done with night week and can actually set a normal schedule, or at least normal for someone who works 10-12 hours a day.

I miss him. I have kept myself pretty busy today. It helped. But tonight I sit here drinking wine, eating his favorite spaghetti meal, watching a movie and realizing, it ins't the same without him. In fact, it is just bearable. I am so close to breaking down crying. I don't know how I am going to do this for the next 3 to 4 months. And past that? I can't help but wonder what if I don't get the same assignment as he does? What if I don't even get the same plane? I don't like being without him. He really does complete me.
Needless to say the next two weeks are probably the most important to date. The biggest checkride in pilot training will be at the end of these two weeks. Of course this whole thing is up to God, but I have to do my best as well. I know that whatever happens He has my back. That being as it is I still fret a bit too much about it.
I just finished night week. It was rather brutal. Or felt that way from my perspective. Flying at night is spectacular. I flew over Houston one of the nights. The lights shining below and the stars sparkling above were quite something. If I were poetic, I'd write something beautiful about it.
My dog, Shadow, is watching me type. He likes to chase the mouse around the screen and watch the letters fly across the window. He reminds me of Josh. He has stopped wondering around the house looking for him, and has finally started eating regularly again. Poor little guy really misses him too.

Josh finally found out what he will be flying this last Friday - the mighty C-130 Hercules. Four fans of freedom!

I am probably the worst blogger of all time. Usually, I have nothing to say, or I am just too tired to come up with a complete sentence to say. And when I do post something, the posts are short and are pretty much more like a facebook status update than a blog.
Oh well.
Yesterday, I completed my first T-1 checkride, and failed it. First checkride I have ever failed. But still glad it is over, even if I do have to go to a progress check. The last block of training seemed like it would never be over. Between bad weather and broken planes, I progress about one ride a week for the longest time. This last week I got a flight every day. Probably not the best of ways to go, seeing as the last ride I failed and it was a really important one. But oh well, at least it is some sort of progress. Tuesday, I am scheduled to fly the progress check. Kind of a big deal (in a bad way), but kind of not. Because even though I never failed a checkride while flying T-6s, I did have trouble landing at first and went to a progress check before my first solo. Ironically, this is also the first ride I have failed in T-1s, which was the opposite of T-6s. I failed a lot before my first checkride and then did fine on the checkride.
But I was probably just tired and frustrated with the week that really didn't go so well. I am sure Monday will be a lot of work fixing everything that is wrong with my gradebook and studying for a second go at the "checkride." Unfortunately, I can't move on to the navigation block yet. I am really looking forward to getting to that. In all honesty, I am really just looking forward to being done with pilot training. I am constantly tired, have no life outside of studying or preparing to fly, and really really am bored with the whole thing.
Every day seems just like the one before it, every weekend the spent catching up on sleep and chores - no excitement past the melodrama of student pilot interactions. I am ready to be able to take a vacation every few months and travel somewhere. Maybe not be so tired over the weekend and actually enjoy it. Ya, that would be nice. Hopefully someday...though that some day seems very far off. Did you know that after a year and a month of pilot training, military pilots then have to go to 4-6 months of training for their assigned aircraft!? It seems as if the miserable and stifling environment of forced harsh learning and long days will last far too long. Shouldn't I get a second degree or something out of this? I hope the pair of wings on my chest in the end will be worth all the struggle. And by struggle I mean boredom of course.
Well, there you go. A new post with more than just a facebook status update.
Eeyore out. ;-)

Last academic test in pilot training completed! As big a milestone as that might seem, it just leaves some extra time to focus on what is truly important: flying and flight line tests.

Study, study, fly, eat, sleep, repeat.

Five flights and a few sims deep into T-1A training. It is...interesting. I feel less stressed about the flying and stuff than in T-6s, but somehow I feel it is more important still (without feeling extra stressed about it). Or that is the case so far. Landing is much less of a problem than it was before. I suppose when it is the 4th plane you figure out how to land, it isn't such a big deal anymore.
I am only a few short weeks, 2 or 3, from by first checkride. That makes me a little nervous, but of course I also want to get there soon.
One of my close friends from high school recently had a baby. Other friends have had babies, yes, but it didn't feel quite the same. This time I feel more - adult like? Yep, that's it. And friends having babies that are actually ready and planning for them makes me realize even more that we have indeed reached that adult stage of life. Pretty weird. I still want to dream like a kid, and have weekends and summers off. And dance around in my bare feet with the mop and singing too loudly along with the music. Mostly, it feels as if things aren't really chores that kids try to make more fun, quicker, or get out of, but necessary things in life that have to get done to move on. Kind of like putting your socks on. It's just a step you have to do before putting on shoes. Not really something to dwell on or think about overly.
Well, it has been a draining week, as usual in pilot training. And I have been rambling more than actually writing anything discernible...