Navigation check completed and passed! Woot! And today I finished my last simulator in pilot training. 14 flights left before drop and graduation.
Also, Josh gets back tomorrow!

Conversation going on inside my head:
You ok?
No.
Yes, you are.
I am freaking out.
No, you're not.
Well, I am a little.
But not so bad.
I am arguing with myself in my head. Yes, I am freaking out.

Tomorrow, I have my to-check. Meaning, the pair of end of block rides before my checkride. This checkride means a lot. It is weighted more than the others, and it is my chance to redeem for the bad checkride I had during transition. No big deal...

And on another note, I miss Josh. More than mushy love songs and cheesy poems could ever describe.

Wednesday. This week feels weird. It is getting really close to nav check, or at least sorta. I am not any flights closer, but I am two sims closer. Yesterday was a weather cancel for potential thunderstorms in the area. Which means my nav check got pushed back until the Monday after next instead of Thursday or Friday of next week. One extra weekend to study for it, which is good. I feel as if the time is barreling on without me myself getting any more ready. I suppose I am pretty nervous, sorta. But I definitely need to get my proverbial butt into gear.

Also, I ran twice this week and did push-ups each night. The only goal I am slacking on is getting to bed on time. It is really hard to fall asleep lately. Lonely, bored, mostly just missing Josh I guess and looking for something to distract my mind too late into the night. I am going to get up at 7 and go for a run with Shadow before going into work. We have a later show than usual in an effort to give us all some gym time - awesome for me. And now to stop doing the distract myself thing and get ready for bed.

Today was rather melancholy to begin with. I woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat and spent the morning being lazy trying to get over it, which actually worked. I even took a nap, which may have been spent better engaged, but no more sore throat.
I helped a friend get ready for his navigation checkride tomorrow. It was good to get out and interact with someone other than Shadow.
I have decided that I need to set some goals for myself with Josh away, and especially with him out in the woods with no contact this week. Most days I just look forward to seeing him, and if he's gone to talking to him every few days at least. But now while I have nothing better to do or give me an excuse to do, I should get myself back in shape and get to a rigorous schedule to get me through these next two weeks until my nav check.
This week my goal will be to run at least 4 times and once run the 1.5 mile course on the track to gauge how much I need to improve. Also to do push-ups every day. Paltry goals I am sure, however, the amount I have let myself go recently calls for small steps back to fitness.
As for my sleep and other type schedules. My goal for the week will be to be in bed by 10:30 every night. That should give me long enough sleep each day to not make being tired an excuse.
I am very glad I am done with night week and can actually set a normal schedule, or at least normal for someone who works 10-12 hours a day.

I miss him. I have kept myself pretty busy today. It helped. But tonight I sit here drinking wine, eating his favorite spaghetti meal, watching a movie and realizing, it ins't the same without him. In fact, it is just bearable. I am so close to breaking down crying. I don't know how I am going to do this for the next 3 to 4 months. And past that? I can't help but wonder what if I don't get the same assignment as he does? What if I don't even get the same plane? I don't like being without him. He really does complete me.
Needless to say the next two weeks are probably the most important to date. The biggest checkride in pilot training will be at the end of these two weeks. Of course this whole thing is up to God, but I have to do my best as well. I know that whatever happens He has my back. That being as it is I still fret a bit too much about it.
I just finished night week. It was rather brutal. Or felt that way from my perspective. Flying at night is spectacular. I flew over Houston one of the nights. The lights shining below and the stars sparkling above were quite something. If I were poetic, I'd write something beautiful about it.
My dog, Shadow, is watching me type. He likes to chase the mouse around the screen and watch the letters fly across the window. He reminds me of Josh. He has stopped wondering around the house looking for him, and has finally started eating regularly again. Poor little guy really misses him too.

Josh finally found out what he will be flying this last Friday - the mighty C-130 Hercules. Four fans of freedom!

I am probably the worst blogger of all time. Usually, I have nothing to say, or I am just too tired to come up with a complete sentence to say. And when I do post something, the posts are short and are pretty much more like a facebook status update than a blog.
Oh well.
Yesterday, I completed my first T-1 checkride, and failed it. First checkride I have ever failed. But still glad it is over, even if I do have to go to a progress check. The last block of training seemed like it would never be over. Between bad weather and broken planes, I progress about one ride a week for the longest time. This last week I got a flight every day. Probably not the best of ways to go, seeing as the last ride I failed and it was a really important one. But oh well, at least it is some sort of progress. Tuesday, I am scheduled to fly the progress check. Kind of a big deal (in a bad way), but kind of not. Because even though I never failed a checkride while flying T-6s, I did have trouble landing at first and went to a progress check before my first solo. Ironically, this is also the first ride I have failed in T-1s, which was the opposite of T-6s. I failed a lot before my first checkride and then did fine on the checkride.
But I was probably just tired and frustrated with the week that really didn't go so well. I am sure Monday will be a lot of work fixing everything that is wrong with my gradebook and studying for a second go at the "checkride." Unfortunately, I can't move on to the navigation block yet. I am really looking forward to getting to that. In all honesty, I am really just looking forward to being done with pilot training. I am constantly tired, have no life outside of studying or preparing to fly, and really really am bored with the whole thing.
Every day seems just like the one before it, every weekend the spent catching up on sleep and chores - no excitement past the melodrama of student pilot interactions. I am ready to be able to take a vacation every few months and travel somewhere. Maybe not be so tired over the weekend and actually enjoy it. Ya, that would be nice. Hopefully someday...though that some day seems very far off. Did you know that after a year and a month of pilot training, military pilots then have to go to 4-6 months of training for their assigned aircraft!? It seems as if the miserable and stifling environment of forced harsh learning and long days will last far too long. Shouldn't I get a second degree or something out of this? I hope the pair of wings on my chest in the end will be worth all the struggle. And by struggle I mean boredom of course.
Well, there you go. A new post with more than just a facebook status update.
Eeyore out. ;-)