Wednesday. This week feels weird. It is getting really close to nav check, or at least sorta. I am not any flights closer, but I am two sims closer. Yesterday was a weather cancel for potential thunderstorms in the area. Which means my nav check got pushed back until the Monday after next instead of Thursday or Friday of next week. One extra weekend to study for it, which is good. I feel as if the time is barreling on without me myself getting any more ready. I suppose I am pretty nervous, sorta. But I definitely need to get my proverbial butt into gear.

Also, I ran twice this week and did push-ups each night. The only goal I am slacking on is getting to bed on time. It is really hard to fall asleep lately. Lonely, bored, mostly just missing Josh I guess and looking for something to distract my mind too late into the night. I am going to get up at 7 and go for a run with Shadow before going into work. We have a later show than usual in an effort to give us all some gym time - awesome for me. And now to stop doing the distract myself thing and get ready for bed.

Today was rather melancholy to begin with. I woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat and spent the morning being lazy trying to get over it, which actually worked. I even took a nap, which may have been spent better engaged, but no more sore throat.
I helped a friend get ready for his navigation checkride tomorrow. It was good to get out and interact with someone other than Shadow.
I have decided that I need to set some goals for myself with Josh away, and especially with him out in the woods with no contact this week. Most days I just look forward to seeing him, and if he's gone to talking to him every few days at least. But now while I have nothing better to do or give me an excuse to do, I should get myself back in shape and get to a rigorous schedule to get me through these next two weeks until my nav check.
This week my goal will be to run at least 4 times and once run the 1.5 mile course on the track to gauge how much I need to improve. Also to do push-ups every day. Paltry goals I am sure, however, the amount I have let myself go recently calls for small steps back to fitness.
As for my sleep and other type schedules. My goal for the week will be to be in bed by 10:30 every night. That should give me long enough sleep each day to not make being tired an excuse.
I am very glad I am done with night week and can actually set a normal schedule, or at least normal for someone who works 10-12 hours a day.

I miss him. I have kept myself pretty busy today. It helped. But tonight I sit here drinking wine, eating his favorite spaghetti meal, watching a movie and realizing, it ins't the same without him. In fact, it is just bearable. I am so close to breaking down crying. I don't know how I am going to do this for the next 3 to 4 months. And past that? I can't help but wonder what if I don't get the same assignment as he does? What if I don't even get the same plane? I don't like being without him. He really does complete me.
Needless to say the next two weeks are probably the most important to date. The biggest checkride in pilot training will be at the end of these two weeks. Of course this whole thing is up to God, but I have to do my best as well. I know that whatever happens He has my back. That being as it is I still fret a bit too much about it.
I just finished night week. It was rather brutal. Or felt that way from my perspective. Flying at night is spectacular. I flew over Houston one of the nights. The lights shining below and the stars sparkling above were quite something. If I were poetic, I'd write something beautiful about it.
My dog, Shadow, is watching me type. He likes to chase the mouse around the screen and watch the letters fly across the window. He reminds me of Josh. He has stopped wondering around the house looking for him, and has finally started eating regularly again. Poor little guy really misses him too.